put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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