Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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