My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
