he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
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