We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
