Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
