i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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