Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
