Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
