I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
