Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Randomize
