I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
