But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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