I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
