I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
