Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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