So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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