Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
40s are totally the cure
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
