I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You made out with two different species that night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize