Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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