No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
