Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
