and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
