I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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