I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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