i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this will be a night to untag.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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