They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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