sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We need to get me chipped asap
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
