fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
