For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
