i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
