Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize