We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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