I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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