I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
