Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize