New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
