He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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