I'm drive I can fine osifer
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
