This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
