he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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