I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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