tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize