Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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