come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
