we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
