If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
