I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
