I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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