Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
