Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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