Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
smell my finger.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize