you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
