It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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