Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
