I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
