As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
