Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize