I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
