Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
