im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
