"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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