I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My balls are so social today.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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