Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
