Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
