i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
