we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
