I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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