question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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